The Jebber Family Blog

Mraz Mania

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 02:19:00 +0000

My hubby took me to see my absolute favorite performer tonight.
Jason Mraz was incredible, even though he didn't sing, "Sleeping to Dream" for me, I will have to forgive him, because...well... frankly... I think I may, in fact, have a huge crush on him!
Sorry Patrick.
It was such a great night.
I will post pictures as soon as Patrick fixes my blog. I have so many pictures to post,(we have been very busy bees), but my blog will not upload them for some crazy, unknown reason, and my hubby doesn't feel it should be his top priority, so if you read my blog and you are interested in once again seeing pictures please email my hubby at jebz@neo.rr.com. Subject: Get on the Ball!
So for the time being, I will leave you with this song, because this guy rocks my world!

Romeo O' Romeo

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 00:18:00 +0000

"See, how she leans her cheek upon her hand!
O that I were a glove upon that hand,
that I might touch that cheek!"
Romeo and Juliet

When I was a young girl, I fell in love with Shakespeare's, Romeo and Juliet. I remember, the first time I read it I thought about how amazing it would be to be loved so deeply, so true. To be desired by another so much that your whole life is rattled with passion. This line has always been my favorite. Romeo wishes so terribly to be next to Juliet, to just feel her warmth, that he would give up his life to be the glove upon her hand...to feel her cheek. *gasp* my heart still flutters.
When I met Patrick, (I was 20) I remember one night in particular. He had asked if he could bring a movie over and rub my feet!. I accepted his offer, because, well...I have NEVER turned down a foot rub! While he was rubbing my foot, he looked at me quite shyly and I heard him mumble something about a sock. I replied with a flirtatious, "what was that?", and he again...very shyly repeated, "I've never envied a sock before... (very long pause) My God Cassie, do you know how attracted I am to you.!?"
Some people may think, "how creepy. He wants to be her sock?"
I, however, knew at that moment that I had found my Romeo.
The other night, my hubby took me to see Romeo and Juliet performed outside at Stan Hywet Hall.
We sat on the lawn, ate sushi and joked about how different our life is now compared to that night we shared a million years ago.
Different as in better.
Different as in never imagined such delirious happiness (even as he taunted me relentlessly)
Different as in never knew we could ever love each other so intense
Different as in how thankful we were to be, "right here, right now...together."
I thank God every night that our life is so different.
Thankful for the laughter
Thankful for the tears
Thankful for the screaming (yes, even that)
Thankful that he too loves Shakespeare

my sweet

The really cool stage. The whole show was so very impressive

Our Summer Fun

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Fri, 07 Aug 2009 02:53:00 +0000

This summer has been so full of friends and family. We have had so many visitors from a far come see us, and it has been so much fun. We are still awaiting a few more visits!! I love catching up with friends, and seeing how their lives have blossomed.

My friend Christine from LA Lutheran. Last time I saw her I was in 10th grade

My friend Karrah from High School

Aunt Casey has been here so much this summer, she no longer counts as a visitor. :)~
Oh yeah, and I'm not complaining

My neighborhood gals trying to pose for a picture

something went wrong and hysterical laughter broke out

Totally out of control

Trying the "Paris Hilton" pose...We hear it's slimming

My Step Mom Jenny

Sangria Throw Down

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Sun, 02 Aug 2009 15:51:00 +0000

Last night, Stuart and I "threw it down"!

Those of you who know my brother and I well, also know that we are very competitive with each other. A few months ago, Stuart boasted about having the best sangria recipe in the world. I however, was extremely confident in my friend Keri's recipe, and I challenged him to a Sangria "throw down." (courtesy Bobby Flay)
We had such a great time. Our competitive juices were flowing, and the crowd was a blast! Stuart offered 2 extremely tasty recipes, but as I originally suspected, Keri's recipe was the throw down champion! As usual, we had enough food to feed a small country, and some exceptional entertainment. The guys brought their guitars, and played some beautiful acoustic harmonies for us around the fire, while the kids caught fire flies in mason jars. It was a beautiful ending to a fantastic day! A great way to end our summer parties!

Getting ready for the throw down

Tasting the competition (his peach mint sangria was wonderful)

The crowd forming

Stu and I celebrating my big win!

Summer in Santorini Sangria

Number 1 and he soooo knows it!

My beautiful family

Jimbo, Sarah and JJ listening to music around the fire

My most handsome partner in crime!

Dog People

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 17:45:00 +0000

WE ARE DOG PEOPLE

On Friday, our stunningly handsome beagle, Bailey almost died. We were extremely close to losing him. Our vet thinks he was either poisoned by rat poison or antifreeze (some crazy person left it out)...OR he went into anaphylactic shock from a bee sting or a spider bite. His body was shutting down, and he was bleeding out. It was one of the scariest moments of my life. I felt so helpless as I was holding him. I could do nothing to ease his pain. When I finally got him to the vet, she quickly took him from my arms and said, "Cassie...I have to go, I have to go try to save him." And that fast he was gone...Out of my sight. Again I felt so helpless. Patrick had left work, and raced to the vet to be with us, but when he got there Bailey was being worked on and they wouldn't let him back to see him...To say his goodbyes.

The rest of the day I was given these types of updates.
Me: Hi I was calling to check on my Bailey
Nurse: He's still with us
Me: Really? Is that supposed to make me feel better? (I thought this...I didn't say it outloud)
Me: How is my Bailey
Doctor: He is stable
Me: What does that mean?
Doctor:It means he is still breathing

That night at 10, I drove past the vet and the lights were on. I called Patrick to see if he felt it would be "stockerish" of me to stop and bang on the doors. His answer was yes, so I just kept driving, but it made me feel better to know that there was someone there.

The rest of the night was miserable. I was completely guilt ridden. I was nauseated, sweating, shaking. My mind was in a swirl of fear for my little man. I would never have forgiven myself if he died this way. This horrible, painful way. If I were not there to hold him and make him feel loved. I needed him to know how much we love him.
Patrick, of course held me and tried to calm me down, but I was just sure I was going to get the call that we had lost him.

We never got that call.

First thing in the morning, I made Patrick call the Dr., becasue I couldn't muster up the nerve. I heard these words..."Really! That's GREAT!" Then I scream, "Put her on Speaker!"
The Dr. said that she was in and out of the office all night long. Each time she went in she felt that Bailey was getting better, but she was afraid to call and tell us that just in case he took a turn for the worse. She pumped his little bod full of steroids, vitamin K, antibiotics and fluids. He fought all night long, and at 6 am she said he...WAGGED HIS TAIL! We got to pick him up and it was so wonderful. Everyone! Including the doctors and nurses thought we were going to lose him, but he fought, and now he is home with us. Last night I laid with him and watched him breathe. I checked to make sure he was comfortable on our bed all night long.

We are dog people. We have dog hair everywhere, we have paw prints on the wood floors, we open up our couch and our bed for their comfort. Bailey is not our dog...Bailey is our family. And he is home...Still fighting...Still weak, but he is home!

When Jordyn stormed into the hospital to pick up her dog she screamed at the top of her lungs, "BayWee Where are YOU?"

Dr. Wendi, the life saver

My Bailey

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Fri, 24 Jul 2009 21:21:00 +0000

Please say a prayer for My Bailey Extwodinaire~ He is fighting for his life at the vet right now. They think he has been poisoned, and he is bleeding out. Please pray that the medications are able to take effect and save him, so that he can come home to us and be a family! We love him so much, and I cannot bare to think of our life without him, and to think someone would do something so despicable. He is in so much pain, and it kills me that I am not there holding him. Please pray we can bring him home healthy.

Natural Born Entertainers

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Tue, 21 Jul 2009 15:18:00 +0000

We had a block party, and the kids decided to enjoy themselves on stage!

I don't know where they get it.

If you are wondering what Connor is saying...He's rapping the words Yo...Yo Yo! To his lead singers words. Seriously. Never a dull moment!
These two keep us laughing out loud all the time! And where there is a stage and a microphone, there, you will find my babies!

Sam I Am

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Mon, 20 Jul 2009 04:21:00 +0000

I don't like Green Eggs and Ham

I don't like Green Eggs and Ham
I Don't
I don't
I don't like Green Eggs and Ham
I DO like Green Eggs and Ham
AMEN

HOLY Cow am I in love with her!

You will not win an argument with crazy

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Mon, 13 Jul 2009 19:39:00 +0000

(I may have lost my way today...But I haven't lost my sense of humor...)

My blog is my own personal diary. It is me, all the way. Completely real for anyone who chooses to read. I have nothing to hide...This is who I am. All of me, without secrets. I refuse to allow myself to play games...To make people think I am something that I am not. I hope it's okay with you.

My Will is being tested right now, and I am Extremely disappointed in myself. I am better than this and my well being is more important than this annoyance.
On Sunday, in church, our pastor spoke of the Devil, metaphorically showing himself in certain situations. It really hit home for me. I truly feel that Satan is testing me right now. It is the first time in a long time that my temper has been tested.
Truly, severely tested.
I have always known that I have a temper, and I have not always had it under control. Not many things can set my temper off. Patrick used to be able to do it just by swishing his milk in his mouth. My Mother could do it by calling me and talking about my childhood. My brother could do it by just being himself...That was a long time ago...Well, not my brother (he always gets under my skin), but whatever.
Anyhow---
For years, I have tried to put myself in others' shoes. I have tried to understand the mental anguish of other people. In the past 6 months I have developed a love of mankind that I

HAVE NEVER HAD

In my entire life.

I always felt that humans would somehow let me down.
They always did.
Ever Since I was a child.

In the past 6 months, I have begun seeing people in a different light. I see them as the 4 year old they used to be. The child looking for reassurance from their parent. The little boy hurting because he felt alone and ached for some attention. Even in their adult state...I see them differently.

MY BAD!

Over the past 3 days I have been in constant contact with my friends. Lashing out in a vulgar decrepit way. My friends have been very supportive of my pathetic state, and have helped me talk myself out of saying things that I would rather not. My friends have allowed me to vent. They have allowed me to laugh at my stupidity, and have shared their own stories with me of personal torment.

(Thanks for that.)

What I have learned in my life is this...

You will not win an argument with crazy
They will bring you down to their level and beat you with experience
-
-
-
-
-

I am better than that.
I refuse to allow myself to be beat down ever again.

Happy Birthday!

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 11:37:00 +0000

Happy Birthday to you Rissa Pissa!
I wish we could all be with you today to celebrate!

Hole-E-Mole-E

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Fri, 10 Jul 2009 02:25:00 +0000

She did WHAT?
I love it!
I love her too!

Deep in the Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Wed, 08 Jul 2009 01:31:00 +0000

OF TEXAS

My husband...Sang that song... For 4 days STRAIGHT!
I am no longer a fan...Of the song...Not Patrick!

Recently, Patrick and I were able to slip away unnoticed for a 3 day jaunt to Austin Texas. It was Heaven...If Heaven were set at 110 degrees Fahrenheit! Just being away with him, to snuggle and talk and...SLEEP! We SLEPT so darn much in Texas it was like being in HEAVEN.
Now...for my story.
Patrick and I left at 5:20 AM for the Cleveland airport. Both of us having less than 2 hours of sleep. I cried on the way there, because I already missed my babies.
Once we got there, my Dad drove away and we went into a completely empty airport to check in. Patrick informs the woman at the counter that the kiosk must be broken, because it won't let him check us in. She is more than willing to help, and asks where we are headed. We say Austin, and she says, the 10 am flight...No, the 7 am flight we reply. Well, we don't have a 7 am flight...

WHAT??!??!

At this point I rip the itinerary from Patrick's hands, look at it for -point 2 seconds- and in the most hideous, " I could completely kick my husband's ass right now" voice I say It leaves from AKRON CANTON PATRICK!!!
Next 5 minutes---Verbal Abuse
10 minutes after that---Daggers jetting from my eyeballs wishing he would turn around and they would hit him.
5 minutes after that---I replaced the daggers with the most apologetic, "honey it was a mistake...We all make them," face and I allowed him to make himself feel terrible without my help the rest of the day.
We then spent the morning with our children and Jiddo having breakfast and spent our afternoon and evening in various airports hoping and praying to arrive in Austin at some point!

WE MADE IT!

We finally arrived in Austin and my Uncle Cam picked us up. He was our unofficial tour guide the whole time we were there. He took us to some great bars, awesome restaurants and we got to listen to some great live music! Every minute was so relaxing, but I missed Connor and Jordyn so much my body actually felt sick. They, however had a great time while we were away!
Our trip home was even more dramatic...You don't even want to know!

My, "honey it was a mistake" face while we sat in our third airport of the day

Me and Cam after arriving in Austin. I actually think I was sleeping in that picture

We drank a lot of beer while in Austin

Chef James Holmes, the owner of Olivia in Austin. One of the best restaurants I have ever been to. Not to downplay the rest of the food (check out their menu), but they make the WORLD'S GREATEST FRENCH FRIES!

Cam two-stepping

Cam and his friend Grace

Patrick and I at the "Bat Bridge"

For Purple Mountains

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Tue, 07 Jul 2009 01:24:00 +0000

4th of July is VERY special to me. It always has been, ever since I was a young girl. I have always insisted on seeing the fireworks. As close as possible. One time in college, I placed Patrick so close to the line of fire that we had flaming debris landing on us as the fireworks were exploding above. He loves me so much that he indulges my child like requests each and every year...For the last 12 years...
EVERY year, without fail. He really, truly loves me. This year he decided he loved me enough to take the kids to the 4th of July Parade together...

HE FRIGGIN LOVES ME!

Adores me really!

I am not big on parades, but I felt that the kids should experience this tradition, and they really did love it. Jordyn was much more tolerant than Connor was. I think he was feeling under the weather. They clapped, and laughed and danced and cheered and dove for candy...
Thank God we taught Jordyn street fighting at a young age!
We took the kids to see fireworks each night, and they were a riot!
On Friday night, the kids sat out in a field playing tag in the dark, chasing fireflies and soaking in the true essence of summertime until the fireworks started. They were AMAZING!
Jordyn sat in her chair, next to her big brother screaming (in her angelic voice) "come on fireworks...keep em coming" They make my heart so happy. They make this day so much more exciting for me...
For US!

Freedom

What Summertime means to me

Geared up in our jammies ready for the show

Baby didn't want to miss it either

Snow Cones for the weary

Even If she tried...She couldn't have made more of a mess

If you ever wondered what Patrick and I would have looked like with sunglasses on when we were kids...Here it is!

She took herself very seriously...pssst...I nibbled on her right after I took the picture

Seriously...Star Trek?

After the 43rd fire truck went by

The 18 mile long line of fire trucks

He makes me so achy...A good achy of course!

Jordyn practicing for "Miss Firecracker"

Playing patty cake with the boys!

Sheeeee, loves a Parade

7 years ago on this day you asked me to marry you. I love you so much

Uncle Sam #19

Shark with a Heart

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Wed, 01 Jul 2009 12:33:00 +0000

A couple of weeks ago, I attended a fundraiser for Amber. The Shark 23, a golf scramble. This fundraiser meant so much to Amber. She had quite a bit of input as to how things should be run the colors, and also decorations. She also made sure that she had access to a golf cart to stop by all of the holes and chat with the golfers. She was awesome! This year was very emotional. Amber was with us only in spirit...But let me tell you, her spirit was so strong, and it was everywhere! There were lots of laughs and lots of tears. It was a beautiful day and Amber let us know she was there right before the last golfers of the day arrived at our hole. We were sitting there chatting and a huge, beautiful monarch butterfly fluttered right by us. It was truly amazing. Here are a few pictures from the day.

Melissa (Amber's Mom) speaking to the golfers about Amber and her strength and love for this fund raiser. She did a great job. I was so proud of her!

Me and Allison (Amber's Aunt) She was cracking me up, with her abnormal fear of deer ticks

Brittany and Casey doing cartwheels! They were our entertainment in between golfers

More Entertainment...Brittany also entertained me with her love of Twilight! You know I can't get enough!

Casey, Me and Becky(Amber's Aunt) at the 17th whole

Me and Melissa trying to stay warm

The Family

Uncle Brian showing us a thing or two about golf!

Amber's Dad Jim acting all serious!

Aunt Becky and Brittany

Photo Re-Cap of my 12 year old soul in my creaking adult body

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Tue, 30 Jun 2009 01:22:00 +0000

Hmmm...Do you have a secret? I do! And I'm not telling!!!
But, I will tell you that I have a love for my 12 year old self. Well...12-17. I had so much fun when I was 12 and I enjoy reliving those days, Especially with friends that didn't share those moments with me way back when. We're able to share these moments together and it really has been a BLAST! (some of these are fuzzy...Cuz I was jumping...Hey don't judge me!)

Donnie D Are you Ready??!

Hot, Sweaty Messes!

Jon pretending to sing

Donnie wanted to be near us all night long

He just couldn't get enough!

Jordan loving us Forever!

Joey making Charissa weak in the knees...My knees...Stayed steady most of the time! :)~

I love this part of the show...20,000 woman singing Hanging Tough!

She's Tough!

He'ssss...not so tough, but quite delicious!

"drinky drunk"

I wuvs her

She insisted on her poster board...You know...So they knew she was there. Hahaha!

Stuck in traffic!

Reunited

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Tue, 23 Jun 2009 12:03:00 +0000

On Saturday, I got together with some of my friends from High School. As always, we had a great time. It never fails, I always learn something new about myself from my high school days as people begin to reminisce. Sometimes I feel like the character in the show "Samantha Who". I truly must have blocked most of my Stow High days out. Regardless, I had a blast.

I truly love this woman. And I am so proud of her everyday!

Do you have a group of friends that you can be a complete moron around and that only makes them love you more? I do!

Charissa came home for me...Yeah Right! I wish I was that special! She came home for the perks!

I love Charissa's Moms quote, " Showing a little leg...Very little"

Jacqui taught us all how to coddle the male ego

Ryan and Megan...Way too cute!

Mike, Melinda and Paul

Charissa and Melinda

What is a Father

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Mon, 22 Jun 2009 00:31:00 +0000

As a Daughter: My Father, is my best friend. He has been since I was a kid. He takes my "crap" and gives it right back. He is my hero. I know I have said that before, but it is the truth. Many of you may not know this, but my Dad adopted me, and raised me as his own. I am forever grateful to him for the life I have.
I am emotionally spent at the moment.
I am incapable of being sappy.
I am delightfully lucky to have been able to spend this Father's Day with my Dad. Just a month ago we weren't sure how long we'd have him here with us. Today, he is here and I enjoy each and every second!
As a Wife: My husband is my strength. He is the greatest father to our children. I thank God every day that we are blessed with his love, his patience, his compassion and his humor.
Today was a wonderful day. We woke up and went to church, where we heard a sensational sermon. We had breakfast with my Dad and my brother. We came home and let the kids play in the sprinkler. Patrick and the kids napped while I made dinner for our dad's. We got to spend our Father's day with our Dad's and it was wonderful.
PS: I think Connor has found his calling...Today was his first day playing baseball and he was SUPER!

Me and My Daddy

Patrick and his Pops

Papa teaching Connor to play ball. We think he found his calling.

Daddy teaching Jordyn to ride a bike

Conversations with my lovelies

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Wed, 17 Jun 2009 16:54:00 +0000

Connor: Oh Mom, come here quick. Look at this
Me: (looking, horrified at a frog in 3 parts. Guts and all on our back patio) Oh, honey. Daddy is on his way home from work, and he will take care of it...Mommy gets queasy...Let's play somewhere else.
Connor: Mom, what do you think happened to the "turtle"? (in a stutter) Do..Do..Do, um. Do you think a Bear got him?
Me: I think that is highly unlikely
Connor: (looking in the direction of the gore) But, Mom look at him!
Me: Connor honey, just stay away from it. He's not there anymore anyway...He's in heaven now.
Connor: No he's not! (Pointing at the pieces and parts of the dead frog) He's RIGHT THERE! Daddy will fix him when he gets home.

Act II
Daddy arrives home from work

Connor: (grabbing his dad by the hand pulling him into the back yard) Dad, look at the turtle.
Dad: Oh wow, looks like he had a rough night.
Connor: Daddy, fix him
Dad: Oh, buddy...Daddy can't fix him
Connor: Yes you can! (Connor heads into the house by himself. Patrick and I hear him struggling, obviously carrying something heavy. He walks outside with Patrick's tool box) Here Dad, you can fix him! I'll help you.
Me: Good luck Daddy!

Patrick at this point sends me and the kids into the front yard so that he can "fix" the frog.
I wait for the "all clear". I bring the kids back to play. A few minutes later, they notice the frog is no longer there.

Connor: Look Mom, Daddy fixed him. Jordyn, he hopped away. See Mom, I told you he'd fix him.

Random Fact Monday

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Mon, 15 Jun 2009 18:59:00 +0000

(hahaha...Only because it's Monday...Just love me)

It's Monday! Really?...How is it only Monday? Ok, totally besides the point.

Random Fact
I am a terrible driver!
Nope, worse than that!
I SUCK!
I should never drive a long distance...Ever!
I swerve while driving in a straight line. Completely unsafe. If you see me on the road...
Steer Clear!

(my husband stopped reading my blog...Let's see how long it takes before he mentions this post)

My Husband Would Cringe

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Wed, 10 Jun 2009 16:17:00 +0000

After getting home from the last NKOTB concert in Baltimore in March I felt compelled to listen to this CD (for various reasons)
Go ahead and giggle. My kids sing this song ALL THE TIME! I'm not quite sure why. This morning Connor and Jordyn were belting it out and Connor asked that I play it for him. So...I did.

Some of you will not get a kick out of this...Some of you will!
Connor and JJ, this is for you

Music Fix

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Tue, 09 Jun 2009 18:17:00 +0000

Love him

Random Facts or Quote of the Day Monday's

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Mon, 08 Jun 2009 16:11:00 +0000

I haven't been blogging much lately. My mind is spinning with things to say, but my fingers can't type the words. So I was thinking of trying to fill with some strange "random facts" or "Quotes". I was thinking Monday's would become my random fact day about myself or maybe my family.
Maybe something you already know about me, maybe something you wish you didn't know! If I find that I am having a boring day (I find myself EXTREMELY boring more often than not), then I will try to find a quote that has recently inspired me. Today I feel a bore! Here is my QUOTE!

QUOTE OF THE DAY

It takes the same amount of energy to worry as it does to believe

I have thought of this quote every single day since my ears heard the words. It isn't anything I don't already know, but it is so important to remember on a daily basis. So quickly life challenges us, and we become wrapped up in negative vibes. Toxic words and actions. I am choosing to live differently. Every Day.

I need to believe...

IN SOMETHING

I want to believe...

IN MYSELF

I choose to believe

IN THE UN_BELIEVABLE

Melissa's Update

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Thu, 04 Jun 2009 12:09:00 +0000

Melissa is an inspiration to me. She helps me hold on to my faith. I really don't know how she does it, but she is just amazing! Here is an update she sent on her first day without funeral "stuff" to deal with.

Today was a good day. I guess everyone is waiting for me to fall apart or crack it feels like but I am OK. See the one thing about Amber and me is that we truly have been through everything together. We were so in sync with each other. We shared everything, talked about everything and were everything to each other. This past year especially it came to a point that I could feel her pain literally not in the severe sense that she was but I knew when she did that something was hurting her. She knew me that I didn't have to tell her something was up she could read my mind. We had this unspoken language that no one else could understand. I wonder at times why this isn't as hard as everyone tells me it is supposed to be. I have realized that the reason it is not is because she is still here with me. I still feel her here. The best way I can describe it is think of when you are driving with the kids in the car. Mine always fell asleep as soon as we started on the road. They were in the back seat sleeping so you weren't talking to them but they were still there. That is how I feel. She is still here. Jim and I had many good talks today and it seems like we were both thinking the same things recently but haven't had the time to express them to each other. Amber gave us so much. So many gifts she left us not even knowing it... or maybe she did know it. A few times people would tell me that they were worried about Jim and my relationship being able to get through what we were going through with Amber. The stress that it can out on a relationship and so many end in divorce because the stress is so high and you need someone to take it out on. Trust me there were days that we were at our witts end but Amber always sensed those times and was there mending the fences you could say. She would talk to us and she was always right... fighting just didn't make sense. looking back I wonder if we were raising her or was she just really raising us. Jim and I have always been close but we talked today and agreed that we have never felt closer to each other than now. I couldn't even imagine fighting with Jim because I know it would hurt Amber to see and there was never anything big enough to be worth fighting over. Amber truly taught me so much. I know she is right behind me pushing me to do what I need. To make the most out of each day. Try to find something or someone and make their day better. Today for example....... we received so many flowers at the funeral home that we didn't want them to just sit around the house and die so we found a retirement home and dropped them off. They were so happy to have them. They couldn't believe how many there were. So for all of you that sent flowers know that they served many purposes. Amber would have wanted that. Some of the potted plants/flowers we will plant in her garden and she will be able to still enjoy them. Finally something I decided to share and you can take it for whatever you want. You can even say I am crazy because none of that matters for the gift I received today. I had only told Jim and Brittany today but something is pushing me to type it in here. I saw Amber today. See before Amber passed she kept pushing me to read that story that I shared with you about the little boy and the note he left his mom. I am glad I did. She came to me today very quickly in a thought not a dream. I was thinking of some times with her and I wish I could explain this to you better but she physically came through that vision of a thought and I grabbed her arms and knew instantly what was happening and I told her Amber it is really you... you did it. She said as she struggled to gain control "Yes.... because..." and that was it. She was gone again. My body was flooded with this warm peaceful feeling that I have never felt before. Plus I was in the basement and it had been freezing down there and the warmth flowed so quickly through me. I tried to make myself rethink the thought I had but nothing. I made myself fall asleep thinking that she could come to me in a dream but nothing. However, in just those 2 words she gave me so much. I know she is OK and finding her way and going to be with us always. I will never forget her and will always love her with all my heart..... I love you Amber! melissa

Life

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Wed, 03 Jun 2009 01:16:00 +0000

The past couple of days have been some of the saddest I have ever experienced in my entire life.

I am grieving for my friends.

I am grieving for the loss of a young woman who's 14 years on this planet greatly overshadow my existence. Amber, you are inspiring. You are an inspiration to me every single day. For knowing you, I want to be better.

You are missed.

I am not an emotional basket case(the way I think about one)...I am answering the phone (almost) every time it rings. I have answered because I know you care about me, and your phone calls have meant the world. Listening to me LOOSE it and sob and scream to you has helped me face my friends with a bit more dignity.

Thank you for being my friends!

There for me when I have needed people around me more than ever in my life.

When I have been least friendly

Thank you for COMPLETELY rearranging your days. Finding babysitters for your children. Thank you for taking time out of your EXTREMELY busy schedules to hold my hand and to hug me. Thank you for taking days off work to be with Amber's Family and to cry with me.. with us. I could have NEVER done this alone.
I am amazed at your strength. I am overwhelmed by your love. I truly do not feel I deserve you. There are no words. So I will say,
Thank You. I love you.
PS: Tomorrow I may not answer my phone. I am spending the day holding my kids. Appreciating each and every second the day allows.
But I promise if you need me, I will be here!

Our Weekend...A pictoral review

noreply@blogger.com (Cassie) — Mon, 01 Jun 2009 00:54:00 +0000

How was my weekend you ask? It was wonder FULL.
It was full of everything I needed. My Family. My Friends. Unreal food. A ton of time for us to be together as a family.
We finally ate at Melt Bar and Grilled in Lakewood Ohio. WE HIGHLY recommend it. We took the kids to Lake Erie to run around and play. We went to the Science Center and discovered all kinds of animals up close and personal then learned about the stars.
I needed to be with my family this weekend.
Together. All of us.
I needed to feel the closeness I felt this weekend.
Here is a pictoral review of just a few of the things we did this weekend.

The GodFather: The May special. Nothing better in the entire universe!

North Coast Shores: Crab Cake

Peanut Butter and Banana, and yes, that is me licking my lips as I'm feeding my munchkin. Oh Don't you worry...Momma got a bite of that bad boy! Maybe even two!

Me chowing on Patrick's GodFather, and yes, my mouth really is that big ( I did have my own sandwich, but I enjoyed a bite or three of everyone's sandwich before I dove into my own)

Look at that BITE! I'm still full!

We took the kids to Lake Erie, and after I took this picture I ate him...Numb Numb Numb! Just munched him up!

They wanted to feed the ducks, but they ate all the bread before they could feed a living creature. I tried to munch on her too, but she refused to allow that! Something about messing up her outfit of something...Sheesh!

We found a petrified tree

The kids thought it would be a great photo op

Jordyn found a garden with extremely large (veggies and gardening tools and insects) Oh My

They found shelter in an abnormally large bucket

Connor went to Outer Space

Stopped off at Saturn

Aunt Casey spent the day making me forget I was sad, and ignored the fact that I cried everytime I saw a butterfly (thank you for that)

I really hope she knows how much I love her. (and just a side note) I think the first, "undrunk" picture of us as adults is a pretty darn good one

My family. My reason for breathing.